Sex and infidelity

East is the tenth post of a few conversations that we have called an Air Bridge (conversations 2.0 on sexuality that Carme Sánchez and I we capture weekly in our blogs. This time not only we have incorporated questions that tuiteros and tuiteras they have left in a Google Docs but the topic was chosen by means of a question opened for the munto twitter)

The whole life can one be faithful?

The sexual loyalty is an agreement to which a couple comes. And as there are persons who fulfill an agreement also them there is that not … The problem is that neither this agreement generally not explicit as such and it defines specifically the agreement what provokes in the long run misunderstandings and problems.
The agreement not explicit because at the beginning of the relation it gives objection and later little taboo turns into a topic or is considered understood, although sometimes every member of the couple gives of course slightly different agreements from the agreement with regard to the proper loyalty with regard to the couple or of the loyalty of other or of other one (that one typical that one justifies his infidelities like minors, but he feels teriblemente hurt or hurt for the infidelity of the couple)

Many people justify the infidelity in the sex, in which he looks out of his couple for what it does not have: Is it the determinant sex at the time of which a couple is faithful?

The sexuality is an important aspect of the relation of couple but if a couple only has problems in the sexual relation it usually tries to solve it (it is evident very much when a couple consults for a sexual problems, but there is a good affective and emotional relation and desire of solving it on both parts). The problem is when different motives and causes are mixed …

I could have observed that many persons do not value the sufficient thing to his couple, on the contrary they finish only seeing the negative part (that certainly we all and all have) and nothing positive … for what then any person who happens ahead and to that for “had just known” only they appreciate the good thing to him … In therapy we use strategies so that two members meet again again in a more positive ambience and looking with one at less critical glasses for other or other one.

Is the loyalty a cultural question?

The anthropological theories are curious on this matter, but I believe that by influence androcéntrica … generally the loyalty is more valued for the woman that that of the man. Even some genital mutilations justify under the premise of which the woman does not think about how to please out of the couple … In the men the infidelity it has justified itself for the centuries of the centuries (in certain epochs the sons and daughters illegitimate of the men were enjoying certain privileges). In the literature, the unfaithful women have had generalmenteun final tragic actor (Madame Bovary, …) to serve like example of what a good woman must not do …

What are you an unbeliever it means that you do not love your couple?

It depends on the type of infidelity … there are punctual infidelities that do not have porqué to reverberate in the life of the couple, any time there is not practised the "sincericidio" (it mixes to equal parts of sincerity and suicide) … but when parallel relations are supported that already complicates more feelings with regard to the "official" couple and the "semiofficial one" … Although the determinant thing in these cases there is the existence of children and/or daughters (for supporting an appearance of respectable and local family) or the economic resources that some of the members can lose.